Humble Beginnings

I've found in life, that one can either pinpoint the exact moment they came to love something, or they can't at all. There is no in between. No, "I guess it was when...". No. It is, "I know exactly" or "I have no idea!"

I was five years old.

It was August, 1994, the start of my kindergarten year. An exciting time for any kid, and a proud moment for any parent. The start of an education is the beginning to a life of responsibility, and it all starts before you hit the age of six. My Grandparents were over the moon that I was starting school, and decided to take me out to The Bay downtown (down town people!) to buy a back-to-school 'ensemble' with shoes to match.

That's right.

Shoes.

Glorious, beautiful, sole-quenching shoes! Though at this time, I had no knowledge of these contraptions beyond the slip on Power Ranger runners with light-up heels that smelled of dead spiders and mold.

Little did I know, this day would play a part in my psychological need for shoes.

The Bay in it's glory days was an immaculately decorated department store in the heart of my city. Everything from designers jackets, furs and dresses, to shoes, table ware, crystal and petty point, all lined up on pristine glass counters and shining racks. Jewelery, perfume, cosmetics-- The Bay was destination shopping at it's finest. It's too bad that it has fallen so far from it's ranks as a high class store-- but I digress.

On that muggy August afternoon, I stepped through the revolving glass doors of that store, and rode the escalator with my Mom and my Grandparents. I felt so grown up, getting to pick out my very own outfit! I remember exactly I wanted a black velvet dress with polka dot sleeves, and pink tights. The best part-- I got it!

Then we came to shoe department. I was skeptical at first. How great could a pair of sneakers be? I already had the Power Ranger monstrosities strapped to my withering toes. Did I need another pair? Silly me. Of course I did.

Of course I needed the pair I spotted on a glass shelf, almost just out of my five year-old reach. They were black patent mary-janes with gold heart buckles and a small round heel. They were everything I never knew I needed in a shoe. The florescent lights of the fourth floor made the treated leather shine, and the gold buckles sparkle. I had to have them. Had to.

My Mom had the Sales Associate take them down from the shelf, where I immediately ripped off my smelly old runners, and placed my feet in to the mary-janes of my dreams. They were awesome. I remember smiling at my reflection in the back lit mirror, posing with my shoes on my feet, and my hair crimped and piled on my head like a cabbage patch kid. Suddenly the room melted away, and all I could see was my feet in those shoes.

How I was so naive. I never could have known that behind me my Mother and Grandma were purchasing a pair of plain black lace ups at the counter to my right. Never could have seen the Sales Associate come from around the corner, and hand my Mom a bag full of misery. Fake leather, square toed shoes! The horror!

When asked to take off the shoes, I hesitated. Why should I take them off, they were going to be mine! It was then I noticed the suspicious bag my Mom was holding. 'What's in there?' I asked. 'Shoes' she replied. How could that be? My dream shoes were still attached to my feet! What was she playing at?

My Grandma kenlt down beside me, pointing to the black patent wonders, "You can have shoes like this when you're older, Charlie. Those are grown up shoes."

Confusion struck me. I was grown up! I was going to start Kindergarten in a few weeks!

"Give the nice lady the shoes, dear," my Grandma said.

Reluctently I slipped off those mary-janes, and handed them to the SA, who gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Come back in a few years, and pick out any shoes you like." she said.

With tears in my eyes, I stuck my white socked feet back in my smelly Power Ranger runners, and left The Bay with my fake leather black lace up square toed failures. But I never stopped thinking about those shoes. Every year, until I was eleven, I went with my Grandparents to The Bay, where I'd get a back-to-school outfit, and a new pair of shoes; and every year I looked for those beautiful patent shoes; and every year I left feeling disheartened when I couldn't find them.

I think, somehow, I'm still looking for those shoes. In every purchase I make, in every shoe I draw, or imagine, there is a little part of me that shouts: "there's nothing like a patent mary-jane with a heart buckle."

And there isn't.

I love shoes.

Questions, With the Bonus of Answers

Here are the three main questions I'm asked almost everyday. (Besides the obvious, such as, "How are you?" "Where the hell is my five bucks" and "When are you going to get a real job?")

1. "How can you walk in those?"

A: This may sound contrived, and perhaps a bit complicated, but, here goes.

Walking (also called ambulation) is the main form of animal locomotion on land, distinguished from running and crawling.^[1][2] When carried out in shallow waters, it is usually described as wading and when performed over a steeply rising object or an obstacle it becomes scrambling or climbing. The word walk is descended from the Old English wealcan "to roll".

Walking is generally distinguished from running in that only one foot at a time leaves contact with the ground: for humans and other bipeds running begins when both feet are off the ground with each step. (This distinction has the status of a formal requirement in competitive walking events, resulting in disqualification at the Olympic level.) For horses and other quadrupedal species, the running gaits may be numerous, and while walking keep three feet at a time on the ground.

The average human child achieves independent walking ability around 11 months old.^[3]

See the rest of the article here.

2. "How can you spend so much money on shoes? They're just shoes, for chrissake!"

Well, that may be so, but I would rather have strong, beautiful legs and feet for the rest of my life, thanks to expensive, comfortable designer heels, than spend $20 on a pair of Payless flats that will ruin my hips and heels forever.

3. "Why do you love labels so much? They only cost so much because they're designer."

That's partially true. I do understand how the world works, and that labels are put on things to give them value. This can apply to anything. Why do you buy Kleenex brand tissues instead of in-store knock-offs? Why do you spend money on an LG cell phone, when you could have an MTS flip for free? Probably because the label sells itself to you in advertising, and quality. Kleenex brand tissues have been around for over 80 years. My 12 year old brother thinks tissues are called, "Kleenexes". This is how saturated our society has become to advertising. Does anyone ever ask you to pass them a 'tissue'? Please. And if they do, it's because they've seen you're poor and have No Name brand Kleenexes.

As for shoes, designer shoes just make me feel happy. Why would I live my life doing and purchasing things I despise?

Dream Big or Go Home (Welcome to my Closet)

I thought it would be cool to do a post about my life and boringness every couple of entries. Keep you hooked. You know, that old hat.

So you've probably already figured out that big old secret I've been keeping.

For those of you who've just tuned in

{I love shoes...}

I own at least 36 pairs of boots, sandals, runners, flats, heels and other unimaginable contraptions for the foot. I've tried it all: thigh-highs, 8" platforms, stilettos, flip-flops, cowboy boots and everything in between. I thought for shits and giggles I'd take you on a visual tour of my closet.

Oh yeah ... there's clothes in there too.

My shoes and other things are stored in a walk-in closet.

Yes a walk-in closet. I need all the space, trust me. The closet itself is very ugly, with it's fake wood-paneled walls, and unnecessarily terrible carpet, but it's home.

So without further ado, I give you, my closet.

{Cue pause for the finding of new batteries for the camera.}

The entrance way is, indeed, a classy beaded curtain from Spencers.

Oh god, you can see my Star Wars collection. Carry on then.

Here we have a very badly taken picture of my 12.99 Zellers children's storage closet, filled with clothes that are worth wayyy more than that. The dirty side of the closet is just an old wood thing filled with pjs, undies, tees and sweaters. Oh and apparently Christmas presents.


I love how there's clearly a drawn unicorn poster on the wall.

The other side of my closet has been taken over by shoes. There's a little bit of clothes there. Mostly shoes. HI SHOES.



The majestic hanging shoe rack makes it's beautiful debut. He's so grown up now... sigh.




Cue three pictures in a row to show my shoes above.


Hi duct-taped wall.


And here are more below.

The lace-ups are my now infamous 'boots I wear to work everyday' Rockports.

I also thought it'd be fun to talk about a few of my selected shoes.

These are a pair of Jessica Simpson Kaptiva's I just had to buy when my store got them in just a few months ago. They are seriously to die for. Comfortable, and yet super sexy. Love the gold buckles, and stretchy calf. Thanks to the designers who work for Jessica who came up with the brilliant idea that not all women have stick legs. Who doesn't enjoy a red boot? Really now. My only qualm with these is that fact the upper part of the boot is not leather. The toe and ankle area are reinforced with leather, but the uppers are synthetic. OH WELL.



These boots are my babies. I waited a whole year to get these amazing boots, and when they came, 16 year old Charmaine died a little inside. I wore these everyday, all day for two straight years. I was known for these kicks, okay. I was pink-club-footed 10th grader and I loved it. Don't worry, I don't wear them anymore except for costumes, but I could never part with these. I feel like they were there for me in such a defining point in my life. God I love these. My future babies will be born in these, and cradled and loved in these. I will warm their bottles in these boots. The PVC will heat them. Ugh, I die.


I don't have much to say about these thigh-highs. Yet. They're still new to me, I haven't quite established what they're about, and who I am when I wear them. But they are gorgeous, and they are mine, so clearly... they will rock.

I haven't worn these much, but I still adore them. They were my rebellious purchase. I had just started at my shoe job when I bought these. I wanted to piss my old manager off by coming back to work from my break with a pair of shoes bought from another store. Needless to say she was kind of peeved. Ahh... good times. The plaid insides are so cute. I am such a sucker for tartan.


Cowboy boots; oh how I wanted you so badly. Three years old and still the most beautiful pair of shoes I own. These were given to me by my crazy Grandma, and are my most expensive pair of footwear. I think they were around 400 big ones or more at full retail price. I have lived and loved and danced in these boots.


I just purchased these in October. Can't say they're the best quality, sadly. 150 smackers and these babies have already been back to Aldo for repairs. They just don't make them like they used to. The heel plug was erupting from beneath the insole, and Aldo had to give me a new pair. Sad to report that the new pair are doing exactly the same thing. I just do not have luck with Aldo Shoes. They are crap quality. But... so pretty :(



I thought since I showed you my most expensive pair, I'd show you my cheapest. 14.99 on sale. These Hush Puppies retail a regular 99.98. I am a bargain hunter for sure. I didn't get to wear them this summer, since it was an end of season sale I found them at, but they are really, really comfortable and super chic with a long maxi dress or boho kimono.


These are another one of my bargain finds. I actually forget how much I paid for them but I they are really nice. And surprisingly comfortable. The 9's were small, but the 10's a tad big, hence the sweet heel grip in the back. I wore these to my uncle's funeral, actually. I wouldn't give them up for the world. The red is so Louboutin.


My Grad shoes. What can I say about them. They're my favourite combination of colours, and pattern {red and leopard as you'll come to know}. These KILLED my feet. And I mean killed. Date raped my toes and crushed my sole. No pun intended. I will most likely never wear these again {just like my Prom dress} but I'll hang on to them for sentimental reasons. Why did my Grad have to suck so hard.


These are amazing. I wanted to avoid showing my ugly hand in the picture, but I could get the full effect of these honeys without it. They are the most badass pair of Gladiators a girl could ever own {minus the Balenciaga's Rihanna wears}. These are Aldo sandals, so the quality is ... ech, but they've been really good to me, unlike my other Aldo footwear. I wore these on the bus downtown, at my Dad's salon, {even at work once or twice... shhh} and they've stayed together. I am going to rock these hard next spring in a motorcycle jacket, liquid leggings and a Rolling Stones t-shirt.


These needed special mention. These were the first shoes I bought with the money I earned from my first paycheque from the shoe store. They are amazing tartan converse and I love them. I remember the feeling of power that came from swiping my pristine debit card in the terminal for these suckers. Love them forever.


My favourite boots I ever purchased from my store. Franco Sarto Alto boots in patent leather. Gorgeous. Beautiful. And I can last up to 4 hours standing in these things! They look great with cigarette pants and a sequined top, or opaque tights and a short black dress. I even wore them with my liquid leggings and plaid men's shirt. Just awesome. And they were only 68 bucks with my discount. The reason we sold out of these boots were because of me. I swear. I had to have sold atleast 3/4 of our stock in the first few weeks we had them last year. I convinced my Mom to buy a pair I loved them so much.


And finally, my most lived-in pair of shoes. Kelly Green kitten heels from le Chateau. These shoes are 4 years old. I had my first beer in these shoes, I told my crush I loved him in these shoes, I took care of my drunk friends in these shoes-- I even high-tailed it through a park at night in these shoes. I walked home from a party in these, I cried in these heels, I found out a life-changing secret, hell I even walked my bloody dog in these shoes. They are completely and utterly ruined, and that makes me love them even more. I will never, EVER give these away. Ever. I am actually going to paint over the scuff marks on these and wear them again. Memories last forever, okay.



Oh yeah. And also a totally inappropriate-for-this-post picture of my book shelves. Just because.






So there you have it. My closet, my shoes, and a few select memories I had in them. Shoes are not just something you wear on your feet; they are a sign of who you are and what you love. They say your eyes are the window to your soul. I say, it's your shoes.